The Hardest Thing But is it really the end though?
by KagomeGirl012591
Summary: This rating will more than likely go up. It's kinda angsty at first but it'll get better. It's an Inu/Kag, so no flames on the couple. My first InuYasha fanfic so be kind. R and R!!
1. Chapter 1: The Hardest Thing

The Hardest Thing. Is it really the end though?  
  
My first InuYasha Fanfic other than just random thoughts in my head. It's about InuYasha+Kagome, I don't know how well it'll flow but it should work ok I suppose. Just read and review and please try to be kind. And no flames on InuYasha+Kagome even if my story sux, they're meant to be and so just go away anti-inuyasha+kagome ppl. I know this is gonna sound like a one-shot but it won't be.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, or I wouldn't share, he'd never leave my room...oops did I just say that out loud? Never mind., I don't own the show or the characters okay?  
  
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InuYasha sighed, he didn't want to do this but he had to. They were from different times, and virtually different worlds. He had to lie to Kagome, tell her he didn't love her. Things had gone too far, he had to go back, not only back to the Warring States Era, but also back in time to before Naraku turned Kikyo against him. He had to save her, and only now was that possible. And none of this mess would happen. Kagome would have never fallen into the well, he would have never met her and he wouldn't love her, and neither of them would be torn. He wouldn't be torn between her and Kikyo. She wouldn't be torn between being a normal modern teenager and being in love with a hanyou who lived 400 years before her conception. Kikyo loved him and trusted him, and he didn't want to let her down, he didn't want to let anyone down.  
  
Kagome sighed from the other room. Something just didn't seem right. Why couldn't he just admit that he loved her, she could see it in his eyes. She knew he was torn between herself and her former incarnation but Kikyo was dead, and he couldn't accept it. If he would just admit that he loved her she'd have the courage to say it herself. She knew the opportunity he had to go back and save Kikyo but didn't fully understand it. She knew he needed to do it, but she knew it'd mean he wouldn't love her.  
  
We both know I shouldn't be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you  
  
Both of us tryin' to be strong  
  
I've got somewhere else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep  
  
InuYasha walked into the room where Kagome was sitting. When she heard him the stood up facing him and inhaling, she didn't have the breathing capabilities of a hanyou but she breathed in every bit of his scent she could. Though in denial something deep inside her knew what was about to happen. He looked at her nearly touching her but he pulled his hands away, struggling with himself, tears threatening to fall from both people's eyes.  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
InuYasha knew that both Kagome and Kikyo deserved better than what he was, but that didn't change how he felt. Only one thing could. And that was to change history. He sighed and looked down her slight figure once more, not allowing her to see his eyes. "Kagome..." he began trying to deguise the tone of his voice.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
  
"Kagome...I can't be with you...because...because...I care about you, but I don't love you. We aren't meant to be." he finally said looking her in the eye trying to keep his lie hidden. She knew it wasn't true but it didn't ease her pain. She began to cry, first only a few tears then a steady flow. Now the person who hd offered her a sholder to cry on and eased her pain was the inflictor of her pain. She looked at him, hoping she'd wake up and this all be a terrible dream. InuYasha wanted so badly to ease her pain but he couldn't, he had to do this.  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my hearts not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
Kagome fell to her knees wishing she would die right then and there. That's the only thing she could think of to ease her pain. InuYasha wanted so badly to reach down and place a comforting hand on her back but he couldn't...what he had to keep telling himself was this was the right thing. He turned, and tried not to look back, only looking back once, but not so much that she, sobbing would notice.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
He walked out of the building and in to the busy street. Getting a few odd stares because of his ears and odd attire, but now he didn't care, the pain he felt was emmense. He went around the building and to the well going into it and returning, this time only going back 50 years before when Kagome had found him pinned to the tree. It wasn't supposed to happen according to his plan but something told him he'd see Kagome again. Not just her body through Kikyo but the real her.  
  
I know we'll meet again  
  
Fate has a place and time  
  
So you can move on with your life  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
  
Something in the air over Kagome sounded like InuYasha's voice in a comforting tone saying 'move on', she had to try but how could she?  
  
Days past and even though InuYasha had thought by destroying Naraku, which he had and saving Kikyo that Kagome would forget she didn't But she didn't go through the well, he didn't want her around, even if he did care about her and even love her. He must love Kikyo more, or he wouldn't d this to her. She eventually cried until she had to push it into the smallest recesses of her mind. When she would walk down the street in the cool Autum breeze she would occasionally feel warmth, not knowing it was InuYasha telling her that he still cared in some way. And not thinking of anything but her pain she didn't even know.  
  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I'll be sending  
  
And you will never know  
  
'Cause there can be no happy ending  
  
(A/N: Not this chapter at least)  
  
InuYasha, having saved Kikyo from her death and himself from his 50 year sleep spent time with her. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't erase his memory of her, this wasn't supposed to happen. Why did he have to do it? Why couldn't he just leave things the way they were? Kikyo was probably happy in her afterlife. But he couldn't ask her that, because unlike him and Kagome she had completely lost her memory, like none of it ever happened.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
  
Now he was back with Kikyo, what he thought he wanted, but deep inside he'd known better all along. But now he was with her and that was all that could be said.  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my hearts not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
He wanted so badly to go back to Kagome, and even though it was possible that would mean leaving Kikyo. And even if he had realized he didn't care about her in the way he cared about Kagome, he nevertheless did care about her and he couldn't do that. He couldn't make such a similar mistake again. Like they say two wrongs never make a right.  
  
Maybe another time, another day  
  
As much as I wanted to I couldn't stay  
  
(A/N: I had to change that a lil)  
  
I've made up my mind there is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you starts to cry  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my hearts not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
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Ja Ne!! Review, I almost crying writing it but it'll get happy. But I warn you I may have to kill Kikyo. But please tell me some alternatives. 


	2. Chapter 2 : Return to the Present

The Hardest Thing. But is it really the end?  
  
Chapter 2  
  
By: KagomeGirl012591  
  
Oh, and I have two other sns that I write fanfics for other series with: Queen Anzu and Keikouramshi1990@yahoo.com but if you email me email me at kagomegirl012591@yahoo.com  
  
Oh and Chiperson (sorry cant recall your sn) thanks for the idea!!!  
  
Disclaimer: See previous chapter  
  
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Time past, almost a year and one day Kikyo walked over to InuYasha who was staring at a fire that illuminated the dark night. He was once again thinking of Kagome. Who's spirit reminded him of fire, and he felt that he may be choking it out. But then again, who said she hadn't moved on and forgotten about him anyway. Kikyo tapped him on the shoulder and he looked up and smiled a bit. She smiled too but had a remorseful look on her face. "InuYasha, I have to tell you something." the preistess said. He looked at her, perking up his ears attentively. "I-I don't know how to tell you this but.. I care about you, but I-I can't be with you anymore. I'm a preistess and my responsibility is to my job, I wish it didn't have to be this way but it does. I just want you to know that I'll always love you, but I want you to go and find who you're meant to be with. It can't be me." she said affectionately stroking his cheek. His jaw dropped, not because he was esspecially hurt but just because it seemed his prayer had been answered. That Kikyo wouldn't hate him but that he could go back to Kagome. He sighed, trying not to sound eager to leave her, "Then I guess I'll go...but first do you mind if I just come back and see you occasionally?" he asked. "I wouldn't have it any other way." she smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. InuYasha stood up and walked towards the fountain. "Wait, before you go I want to give you something." Kikyo said, walking over to him, and reaching him a strong leather bracelet with what looked to be an ancient incantation written in kanji. "This will give you the complete appearance of a human when you wear it, without taking your strength from you. I know when you become a human once a month you look different but in this case all that will change is your ears will go back to being as a normal humans, and your claws will disappear. Then when you take it off you'll be back to normal." He smiled at her, "Thank you." he said. "Your welcome. Sayonara and good luck." He nodded. "The same to you." he said as he once again entered the well and was transported back to modern times.  
  
He put on the bracelet and walked into a clothing store buying some clothing with some modern money that Kagome's family had given him long ago, but sense he lived in the Warring States Era the majority of the time he had never used it. Most of the clotheing he bought was either black or red. "How old are you?" the lady at the cash register asked, being confused by his silver hair and his young body. "Seventeen." he replied. That was what his body was physically and he really didn't know exactly how old he was. As he walked around the town he saw a sign at a fast food resturant that said, "Now Hiring" on the sign. He didn't want to go find Kagome just yet, he needed to figure out what to say. He walked in and placed an application. The manager smiled, "You sound like you'd do well, we'll call you tomorrow, what's your phone number?" InuYasha froze, he didn't know what to say, but he quickly recovered and said, "I don't have a telephone right now, I just moved here, but I'll come by tomorrow." The manager smiled and nodded. "Well ja ne then." the manager said, with a smile still on her face. He nodded. As he was leaving he looked at the clock, 4:00, 'Kagome will be out of school by now.' he thought. He walked to her family's house-shrine and took a deep breath, removed the bracelet, and knocked on the door gently. Kagome's mother smiled, "InuYasha, it's been so long sense we've seen you, Kagome said you were attending to some things that she didn't need to have part in, I'm so glad to see you're okay. Kagome isn't here right now, she's at a little teens club somewhere with her little friends that she is in a band with." she said. "A-a band?" InuYasha asked. "Oh, it's a group of people who sing and play instruments together." Kagome's mother explained. InuYasha nodded. "I see you have some new clothes." Kagome's mother said. He looked down and remembered that he had put on a pair of black jeans and a red teeshirt with a dragon on it. "Yeah." was all he said. Kagome's mom gave him directions to where she was and he walked towards the place. 'So she didn't tell her family what happened.' he thought. 'I do wonder why, though.' he thought remembering how sensative Kagome tended to be. Kagome would be turning 16 in a week and he wondered if she had gone into some kind a reclusive state like alot of teenagers, even in his time go through. But she was out with her friends. He stopped thinking about it at continued to walk to his destination. 


	3. Author's Note

Authors Note  
  
I am so sorry that I havent updated any of these stories in so long. I just had more than one screen name, originally for filing purposes but it comfused me more than it helped me there fore I will be copying the text from this account over to my other account, so loo for these stories to be reposted under the pen name Keikourameshi1990@yahoo.com THANKS! 


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